arthur_p_dent (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
arthur_p_dent) wrote2024-12-15 11:37 pm
arthur_p_dent) wrote2024-12-15 11:37 pm
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These past weeks...
I was saying last time (how long ago was that??) that I hadn't gotten back into a rhythm with a lot of things, and it appears that time did not solve that problem. I did make an effort to get back to regular exercise, but that fell apart quickly. Other than that, I've continued to struggle.
Much of it has to do with the funk I've been in lately. December isn't my favourite month to begin with. In general, it's the month when I have the least contact with others. Most people have lots going on, such as holiday parties and gatherings with friends, family, and coworkers. But year after year, the number of people I'm close with gets smaller, and their busy-ness has a rebound effect on me where I feel unimportant. This year I'm doing more social things, with curling and the run club, but the people I'm friends with there are what I call "situational friendships", where we only interact in those specific group situations. Not that I'm discounting those friendships or the benefits I get from those social outings, but if I were to stop going I don't feel like any of those connections would continue, and so again, that stirs up feelings of being unimportant. This is something that really weighs heavily on me all month, until the holidays are done and lives start to settle back to normal again.
A couple weeks back my good friend and I had a rare alignment of work schedules and were able to hang out together Friday after curling. It had been a couple months since we had that opportunity, and it was nice to relax and catch up on more than just work. Then this past Friday we met for our usual lunch, and by some weird coincidence we each ended up talking about some significant personal topics. And while my thing is not resolved (one more thing weighing on my mind lately), it was kind of a comfort to me to know that we can both still trust each other at that level - close friendships are really hard to come by.
Speaking of curling, that's been pretty normal. One week I can't seem to do anything right, then the next I feel like I could be in a competitive league. I try not to get too frustrated by it, much like I did with my golf game years back - without practice and playing more often you can only expect to reach a certain level, so at some point you just have to accept it and try to enjoy yourself.
Tomorrow I've got dinner with my former coworkers. We started with this over a year ago when people began to be let go from the department, but I have a feeling this will probably be the last one. Last time only three people made it out, and for this one I had to get the ball rolling two weeks ago. If this is the last time, I'm at least glad it will be at the holidays.
Anyway, it's very late now, so I should try to get some sleep. Hopefully you all have a great week to come, and I'll be back sometime before the holidays. =]
Much of it has to do with the funk I've been in lately. December isn't my favourite month to begin with. In general, it's the month when I have the least contact with others. Most people have lots going on, such as holiday parties and gatherings with friends, family, and coworkers. But year after year, the number of people I'm close with gets smaller, and their busy-ness has a rebound effect on me where I feel unimportant. This year I'm doing more social things, with curling and the run club, but the people I'm friends with there are what I call "situational friendships", where we only interact in those specific group situations. Not that I'm discounting those friendships or the benefits I get from those social outings, but if I were to stop going I don't feel like any of those connections would continue, and so again, that stirs up feelings of being unimportant. This is something that really weighs heavily on me all month, until the holidays are done and lives start to settle back to normal again.
A couple weeks back my good friend and I had a rare alignment of work schedules and were able to hang out together Friday after curling. It had been a couple months since we had that opportunity, and it was nice to relax and catch up on more than just work. Then this past Friday we met for our usual lunch, and by some weird coincidence we each ended up talking about some significant personal topics. And while my thing is not resolved (one more thing weighing on my mind lately), it was kind of a comfort to me to know that we can both still trust each other at that level - close friendships are really hard to come by.
Speaking of curling, that's been pretty normal. One week I can't seem to do anything right, then the next I feel like I could be in a competitive league. I try not to get too frustrated by it, much like I did with my golf game years back - without practice and playing more often you can only expect to reach a certain level, so at some point you just have to accept it and try to enjoy yourself.
Tomorrow I've got dinner with my former coworkers. We started with this over a year ago when people began to be let go from the department, but I have a feeling this will probably be the last one. Last time only three people made it out, and for this one I had to get the ball rolling two weeks ago. If this is the last time, I'm at least glad it will be at the holidays.
Anyway, it's very late now, so I should try to get some sleep. Hopefully you all have a great week to come, and I'll be back sometime before the holidays. =]