Nothing narcissistic about wanting to feel valued or noticing patterns that might suggest that you're not.

I can definitely understand your frustration and concern and obviously I can't say with any certainty that the friends in question don't hold your friendship in less esteem than you hold theirs. But I don't think that's necessarily the case. Many people, for any of a number of reasons, are just more passive in their relationships. And sometimes they're more passive specifically in relationships where the other person can be depended on to keep things going. I'm rarely the first to reach out even to people I'm closest to, frex, mostly due to a mix of introversion, anxiety and ADHD (possibly rejection sensitive dysphoria, I'm not sure). In any event, if you feel like you're being undervalued, it's best to bring it up to your friends. Maybe they just have different ideas about how your friendships operate. Maybe they don't even realize they've left the heavy lifting to you. Or maybe they really don't consider your friendship as much of a priority, in which case you should know so that you can decide how you want to handle it.